Why Do We Suffer?

There are lots of reasons why we experience pain and suffering in our daily lives. Let’s examine why life can hurt and see what can be done to rectify it.

YOU ARE CARRYING AROUND FAULTY CORE BELIEFS:

Core beliefs are the hidden programs that determine how you see, and interpret the world. Core beliefs play a large role on what behaviors your exhibit in your daily life. What are your core beliefs? Do you believe that people don’t care about you? Do you feel worthless? Do you feel that no one can be trusted? Do you feel like you don’t matter or you’re not good enough? These statements are often what core beliefs are made of. Chances are good I may have hit one or two of yours. Perhaps you have some that are novel to you. Core beliefs work at the deepest level of your conscious awareness.  For example, if your core belief is “I don’t matter” your life will find a way to show you over and over again how you actually don’t matter. Where and how do core beliefs originate? Many of them are formulated from your childhood experiences. As a child, the world was a big overwhelming place and you had to make sense of it. You lived your life, had your experiences, and drew conclusions (“beliefs”) based on those experiences. You formulated ideas about reality, who and what you are, and how you either fit or do not fit in. These conclusions made sense to you. Core beliefs gave you a nice way to frame and understand what happened to you. You may intellectually know your core beliefs; you may completely unaware of them. Either way they are at work impacting your life in a significant and profound manner.

FROM FAULTY CORE BELIEFS ARISE UNPLEASANT CORE EMOTIONS:

When you live from your core beliefs, you will experience core emotions. As mentioned earlier, when you believe that you don’t matter, you will find examples over and over again that show you that you don’t matter. You will experience emotions that go along with the basic premises of your core beliefs. By nature, we develop many core beliefs each one impacting your overall emotional climate and behavioral choices. I am not saying that you will never feel happy or light because you will. Life may feel light and happy for a while and then return you to your “regularly scheduled programming” of despair. You will feel angry, agitated, fearful, depressed worthless, while your other core beliefs pile on their own unique brand of emotional weight and baggage. The world triggers you by either confirming or denying your core beliefs. Triggering will give rise to your core emotions. Core emotions are like looking through emotionally tinted lenses. Feeling angry? You are looking at the world through angry lenses. Feeling sad? You are looking at the world through sad lenses. The point is life will feel like and you will see more of whatever lenses you are looking through. You are looking at the world in such a manner that magnifies and perpetuates suffering. You are in pain, yes. That is true. Life is and can be painful. Suffering is not going to change your world.

CHANCES ARE YOU ARE ARGUING WITH REALITY:

Do this, and you will suffer…No ifs ands or buts about it. Reality cannot be altered no matter how much you protest or try to change it.  We somehow believe that the world should function the way we want it to. Things do not seem fair. If this feels like ‘why try’ just give into suffering and that’s all there is, think again.

WHAT CAN I DO?

Life does not have to hurt. There is a way out. See a therapist. Over the course of therapy, you will have the opportunity to discover and expose your core beliefs on deep emotional level. Once core beliefs are ‘exposed’, they lose their emotional leverage over you. Think of it this way, you are in a dimly lit room, and you see a coil in the corner. You believe it is a dangerous snake. The process of therapy increases the amount of light allowing you to see that what was preventing you from moving into that corner of the room is a coiled rope. This process is called bringing core beliefs into the “light of your light”. You will develop the ability to recognize when core beliefs are being engaged, and make an active decision to no longer allow it to have its detrimental effect on your emotional health. This will allow you to make better behavioral choices. Consider the advantage this will give you in stressful situations. You will not be weighed down by emotional strife, you will have access to your love humor creativity, and compassion for those involved in your triggered situation. You become less reactive and instead become emotionally and behaviorally RESONSE- ABLE to meet the challenges the world is throwing at you.

Therapy will provide you with the opportunity to learn what to do, and how to adaptively and effectively manage your intense and unique emotional experiences. You are not, nor have you ever been a prisoner to your emotions. They do not own you, and you do not own them. You will learn how to access an internal sense peacefulness that is always available to you in each and every moment. Life does not need to change for you to become a peaceful person. Make an appointment with me and let’s get you on the road to your birthright, eternal joy in the midst of what used to feel like eternal struggle and chaos.

© Michael Morris